It doesn't all have to be about food, right?

I've been cooking, but everything I make is flawed and not worth documenting. I burned the garlic to a crisp the other night instead of sauteeing it. I can't make a single dish without making such a huge mess of the kitchen that I get yelled at. I avoided baking my friends a cake because I was scared I'd screw something else up.

Some days are better than others, lately. They're not normal ups-and-downs though. I've been overwhelmingly frustrated with everything. Too frustrated to think, too frustrated to plan, too frustrated to get anything done. This isn't like me at all.

I ran into Mrs. Colette at the store who reminded me that I agreed to go to a girl scout meeting at 6:30. I completely forgot and made other plans. Everything is usually written out meticulously with dates and times and places to be. I have had so much late work to do. All because I cannot deal with my emotions. I'm fighting to keep my normal composure, even though it's not healthy. I tried the whole openly emotional thing. p.s. It doesn't work. People just ignore you and go on with their happy lives because they don't want to deal with you.

I used to be in control of my life. Now I'm alone and erratic. What do I do? All I know is that I'm really not okay. To the point that telling the whole world my thoughts seems like a good idea.